July 13, 2011
This is very, very long. So either pull up a comfortable chair, get some popcorn and a drink, or come back to it when you can do those things.
I’m thinking of two ways to start this blog post: 1) the ordinary way: I was in an ATV accident and here’s what happened, or 2) the dramatic way: You will not believe the events of this horrendous, yet miraculous event in the life of a fairly conservative woman on Saturday, July 9. If you have not believed in miracles up to this point in your life, prepare to change your beliefs!
I’ve had too much drama though, so you just get the plain version, which is dramatic enough.
My family had a reunion in Marysvale, Utah this last weekend. Marysvale has made their name as an ATV trail king, so that’s what we did! We spent most of the day Saturday on beautiful trails, going to beautiful lakes and reservoirs. There were four-wheelers, trucks and a six-man (pumped up golf cart). We had such a great time that day complete with snow ball fights and snacks. When we decided to head back to our cabins, we began to backtrack the way we came and then some of us decided to take a different trail back and meet up with the others where we parked the trailers. So with our map, five four-wheelers, the six-man and the truck, we started down a new and beautiful trail, with a little bit of rain to keep us cool.
We reached a point where a gate with a sign indicated that only vehicles that were 50 inches wide could fit on the trail ahead, so Mark turned back with my Dad and four cousins. The truck had turned back a while before that. The five four-wheelers came through, each with kids, except for one. I had my two nieces with me, Jara and Tessa, both four years old, one in front of me and one in back. We went down a steep and rocky hill just fine and then enjoyed trails through, trees and brush and cows. At forks in the road we would consult the map and make sure we were going the right direction. After stopping at one fork in the road, we were unsure which way was right, so my brother Ryan rode ahead and my brother Jed rode back to the last marker. Ryan came back first and told us to go the way he went, so three of us did that while he went to get Jed and tell him. Wouldn’t you know it, but we came to another fork in the road and by this time we were so tired of forks that my brother-in-law Matt just decided to keep going. After discussing a bit with my sister, she decided to follow her husband and I would wait for my two brothers to let them know. While we were waiting, I talked with my nieces about butterflies, flowers and the mud on my face that would certainly need a washing when we returned. When my brothers caught up, Ryan went ahead, then I was next and Jed brought up the rear. The trail was beautiful and a little damp in places because there had been rain, and in some place we had to ride through pools of water. We went down the trail for a while with lots of turns.
Now, I don’t remember much of this, so I’m going to tell you what other people have told me. Nobody actually saw it happen, except me, but I can’t remember it, so the whole thing is a mystery.
At one turn I went off of the trail and into a ravine. I do not remember feeling fear or panic or thinking that I would be hurt or that the girls would be hurt or anything. I don’t remember if there was something in the road, or if there was something in the trees that distracted me or if the turn was too sharp. I have no idea why this happened, which is frustrating, but probably a blessing too.
Jed said he noticed the branches in the trees moving and that I was no longer in front of him, so he stopped and looked down the side. He saw the four-wheeler, with me sitting by it and the two girls standing on or by the four-wheeler. The four-wheeler landed in a river that I’m told was 2-3 feet deep. The bottom of the ravine was 12-15 feet down from the edge of the trail. Jed (my hero) climbed down into the ravine and first grabbed his daughter, Jara, and carried her to the top of the ravine to sit her on the trail. This is where I started to realize something had happened and felt dizzy, my vision coming back into focus as Jed came back down the ravine to get Tessa. I remember looking up to see Jara up on the top and Jed coming back down. When he went to carry Tessa up, he looked at me and noticed blood coming from my head, at which point I noticed blood on the tread of the tire mixed with water. He took of his shirt (“Protect you nuts” shirt) and wrapped it around my head and asked if I could climb up. My left side was hurting so badly and I was still so dizzy that I could not make the effort, so I sat in the water putting pressure on the back of my head. He carried Tessa to the top of the ravine to sit with Jara and then came back down for me. He came back down and I think he tried to move me, but realized he could not either pick me up or carry me up a 45 degree incline. So using my right side and my left side the best I could, with a lot of grunting and whimpering, I climbed and he pushed me up until we reached the top of the ravine. I remember seeing the girls by his four-wheeler, but don’t remember anything for a while after that. Jed said I was awake for everything, but I just don’t remember.
Jed told me afterward that he said a prayer and then he helped me get on to his small four wheeler, as well as the girls, all the while wondering how he was going to ride two more miles with four people on his small racing four wheeler. At around that time, two four wheelers came up the trail, a man and a woman, who offered help (two more heroes). The lady that was on the scene happened to be a nurse and when she learned that I was diabetic, made me eat a granola bar in case my blood sugar was low. I don’t remember doing that. Soon after that a Forerunner (?) came down the trail with three men in it (three more heroes!), who also offered assistance. The helpers gave the little girls dry clothes and put them in the back seat of the Forerunner. They helped me get into the Forerunner and put pressure on my head wound and made me sit up and start counting. They took off for town, with Jed following behind in the four-wheeler. I remember Jed pulling them over to tell them to go a little slower because there may be family members on four wheelers coming up the trail and we don’t want any more accidents. I remember seeing Jesse (my youngest brother) come up the trail on a four-wheeler. The men were very kind and asked me all sorts of questions to keep me awake. I told them that Mark was driving a six-man and was ahead of us, told them about my family and asked them questions about their life. We came to the point of the road where the trucks were waiting for us and I remember seeing my Dad’s shocked face as he looked at me. We let the girls out to be with their families and to explain, but didn’t stop long. Mark had decided to head back to the cabins because it started raining so he had gone ahead, but the Forerunner came upon him and the men yelled out, “We’re looking for Mark, are you Mark?” Mark saw me in the front seat with no glasses and a bandage around my head and got into the back seat of the Forerunner and reached up and held my hand. I focused as hard as I could on counting to 100 over and over again, because I knew if I thought about those little girls or their parents I would have anxiety and do my hyperventilating cry, which would not help at all. I had to trust whoever was taking care of us. I still don’t know what those five people look like, I just remember their voices.
Along the road, as soon as the men received cell reception, they called 911 for an ambulance to meet us in Marysvale. When we reached the gas station where the ambulance was waiting, they put bandages or something on the back of my head, put a neck brace and I think a torso brace on and figured out how to get me from a sitting position in the front seat of the Forerunner to that board to ride on in the ambulance. The EMTs were so kind and good and reassuring. Mark got in to the front seat with the driver and we were off to the closest hospital, which was in Richfield, UT. I spouted off all sorts of information that they probably rolled their eyes at, but information is usually good, so they became aware of what my last A1C was, when my period was, what insurance plan I have, how many children I have, while I became acquainted with the bolts in the ceiling of the ambulance. They cut off all my clothes (sorry for the visual), took off my shoes (I still don’t know where they are come to think of it).
At the hospital they started the whole evaluation where the EMTs left off. After the Dr. berated me (as he should) for not wearing a helmet (not required for over age 18 on the trails– the girls were wearing helmets), he looked me over and ordered a CAT scan. After removing the metal containing braces, I was wheeled in for the scan. I was really ready to get off of that straight board because I was trying to hold up my left side, which was in much pain, and I could not relax because of that. Mark gave me a priesthood blessing while no one was in my curtained room and shortly after, one of the EMT’s came in and offered consecrated oil for a blessing of healing and he assisted.
My niece Tessa was not injured at all. My other niece Jara had a scratch under her eye. Jed and Joshlyn brought her in to the ER to make sure she didn’t need stitches. She was in the next curtained room over. I could hear the whole conversation and did my best to hold it together. But I didn’t. Joshlyn (Jara’s Mom) was so sweet to me, to reassure me that she loved me and that Jara was OK. But I felt, and feel, so incredibly horrible for putting those sweet girls in danger. That’s going to take a while to deal with. The Doctor told her that he could put the stitches in, but that it wouldn’t really result in less of a scar and might add more trauma. It was hard enough to listen to them put steri strips on her. She seemed to calm down a bit with a Barbie band-aid and a toy cell phone and springy bracelet.
The results of the CAT scan indicated that there was no damage to my brain (debatable, but that’s what the doc said), and that I broke off four transverse processes on four vertebrae (L2-L5), which are close to the pelvis. The Doctor explained to us that those bones are unnecessary, so I should be fine. Whew! These are bones that protrude out both sides of the vertebrae and are apparently hard to break (leave it to me). He didn’t go into much more detail than that, which was a little frustrating for us, but at least we knew everything was relatively OK. He put five staples in the back, left side of my head, straight back from my ear. Thankfully he numbed it up first and took out my ponytail holder, which was causing much pain (Mark and the doc both grumbled about how girls can put these things in their hair).
The Doctor told me to go take a shower because I was still covered in blood and the bottom of a river, so the nurses gave me some muscle relaxer followed by morphine so I could get through the shower experience. Thanks goes to Mark and the nurse who had to look at my beat up body as they helped to clean me, while I dialed down my modesty issues and shame meters. Thankfully I could use my right side well and balanced enough to get clean. So, after a three hour stay in the ER, and one more berating from the Doctor for not wearing helmets (as he should) and a few other horror stories about other ATV accidents (apparently in the ER there is no time for bedside manner, except for those sweet nurses – nurses rule!), I was released to go back to Marysvale to spend the last night of our family reunion. For the record, on exiting the hospital, the Doctor said he never rides ATVs, but he does ride horses (and I bet he does it without helmets!).
Other facts and occurences I learned after the ATV accident:
My Mom and Dad took Mark and I back to Marysvale after a quick stop to get clear liquids for me to dine on. Yay, chicken stock. On the way they told us all sorts of interesting things regarding the accident:
My brothers went back to the sight of the accident to figure out what happened. From what they could tell, the four-wheeler went straight down the ravine. There didn’t seem to be any skid marks indicating braking or sliding. The marks on trees indicated the same forward motion and either slowed us down or changed our course or both. The four-wheeler somehow turned upstream, or maybe it was downstream, but somehow it turned. The girls and I were not far from the four-wheeler, we were close by when Jed found us. I was sitting on a tree or something in a pooling area, like a little whirlpool, and there was a big rock there, which we think is what I crashed into causing the broken bones and head injury. There was also a big drain pipe that we must have driven over.
The couple that drove up the trail on four wheelers had a winch on their machines, so they stayed behind to pull my Dad’s four-wheeler out of the river. It took them around an hour to pull it out. During that time there were no other vehicles that passed on the trail.
Further down the trail, there were huge drop offs, much greater than 15 feet.
My Dad’s four-wheeler started right up after they got it out of the water. Apparently, no mechanical problems just a little piece of bumper broken off.
When all the cousins not involved in the accident were at the cabins, Spencer, my oldest son, gathered them all up into our cabin and they all knelt in a circle and each took a turn saying a prayer. What sweet boys!
What I have learned and what I have not learned:
This seems to be the quintessential question: Why do bad things happen to good people? (if I may say so myself). I honestly do not know why. Like I said before, it is totally frustrating not knowing the cause of my descent down a ravine at however many miles per hour, but I recognize it is also a tender mercy from God, for me not to know. I am a person that tends to be hard on myself and if I knew why I put the girls under such danger, I don’t know how I would cope with myself (except that I would do it with the Savior and figure it out somehow, but it would be difficult).
Nothing, absolutely nothing about this situation makes any sense to me. But it happened and I know that if I dwell on the what if’s and why’s and if only’s I will enter a despairing and unhappy life. While in the eyes of some, that may seem what I need to do in order to fulfill justice for putting the girls in danger, or not wearing a helmet or not paying attention to the road or whatever it was, I know, with all that I am, that we do not have hard experiences so that we may despair and try to give payback on our own merits, nor should we expect that from others. This, I believe, is why God lets bad things happen to good people: so that we might exercise extreme self-control in maintaining that we are of value, that we might hope for and look for the good in terrible situations and that ultimately we would credit God for our growth. Because so far, and with this experience, I’ve learned this: God is in control. This is only one of the many times in my short life that he has preserved it a little longer. There are times that I can say with certainty that He has saved my life and I’m sure there are many other tines that I’m unaware of. Why is it that I can say this about my life when there are others who die? I don’t know and I do not maintain that I am more or less deserving than others, but I rely on my belief that God is in control and His purposes make more sense than mine.
So, here are the good things in this crazy situation that indicate what I believe are tender mercies from God for whatever reason:
We did not pass any vehicles on the trail, coming up or down. But right after Jed said a prayer, two four wheelers approached coming up the trail, and one Forerunner was driving down the trail. How the events of those two parties occurred in order to be at our scene right at the time that we asked for them is unexplainable but credited to God. Their events would have been put into place hours before my accident, so that they were there soon after the accident.
One of the members of our trail rescuers was a registered nurse and others had had medical training.
My brother Jed is my hero. He acted quickly and decisively and spiritually, and I don’t care that he was wearing a shirt picturing a squirrel with a stick and a pile of nuts that said “Protect your nuts.” I have no doubt that any other members of our party would have acted in the same way, but for some reason he was the one. Again, I’m sorry for putting your daughter in danger, but believe she was preserved by Heavenly help as well. One of the greatest mysteries and miracles to me is how I was thrown off the four-wheeler hard enough to cause a head injury and break four hard-to-break bones, while it seemed that the girls just slid off the four-wheeler into the water feet first and came away with one scratch. I believe kids are made of rubber (evidence being my boys who bounce off the walls), but this is just amazing.
My sister Loni, brother-in-law Matt and sister-in-law Joshlyn are merciful, kind and forgiving people. See the beatitudes for your reward. I have confidence in that. Thank you for your love and confidence and support.
We looked at a printout of my blood sugar records of that day – thanks to my new Continuous Glucose Monitor that checks my blood sugar every five minutes. I did not drop below 140 that whole day, which means I was far away from any chance of blackout, even give the 20 percent standard deviation of the device. So apparently it had nothing to do with diabetes.
Whatever it was that happened to make me go off the trail, I apparently didn’t over correct or skid causing a rollowver that would have resulted in more serious injury.
Whatever it was that slowed us down before entering the river, wind or trees or Heavenly power, slowed us down enough that we did not flip over the machine, or the machine flipping over on us. I can only imagine that the girls sort of slid off into the water and had the wherewithal or influence to stand up, preventing water into the body.
Of all the bones to break in my body, I break four unnecessary ones. Still painful, but I should heal within a month or so and experience no other problems.
Even though I was not wearing a helmet (you can all berate me, as you should), my brain is preserved (but we’ll see how that turns out).
There is a new Wheeler family rule: EVERYONE WEARS HELMETS!!
In addition to an awesome, supportive and loving family, I have incredible neighbors and friends who have brought meals, watched my children, cleaned my house and given words of wisdom.
A neighbor visited yesterday and she summed it up well: This experience is an indication that God knows who you are and what you need. Did it come with pain and sorrow? Yes. But somehow it fulfills a purpose, some of which I think I know now and I pray that I will remain open to further enlightenment and not close Him off just because I’ve experienced pain and sorrow. The accident was not prevented, but soooo much help was given, which in some ways, is more merciful than prevention.
Stay tuned for updates. . .
August 1, 2011
I just talked to one of the men, Herb, who “came upon” my accident. As I remember him telling me, he said they were fishing that day and were on their way to a different reservoir. One of them asked if there was a different way to the reservoir and another replied that there was but it would add about 25 miles to their trip. Herb suggested that they take that road since they didn’t really have anything pressing and they should just see some new country. The others seemed to want to continue on the route they were taking so they would get there sooner, but Herb persisted with his suggestions that they should take this other trail. So, they did and not long after their turn off they came upon our accident scene. How grateful I am that he followed his feelings. Who knows how long it would have taken to get all three of us down the trail to help or at least within cell phone reception range.
Also, my Mom and Dad talked with the man who drove up on the four-wheelers. He said that he has driven these trails many times before, but never the one we were on. He didn’t really know what made him decide to go on that particular trail, that day.
