Anne Geddes?

I'm not quite sure these pictures are on the level of Anne Geddes, but use your imagination.

I'm going to call this picture: "The Striped Caterpillar Who Can Avoid Eating Anything Through Any Distraction."

This picture is entitled: "Here Is An Object That Is Not a Toy. Let's Play With It."

All three boys are on a scale to see what their combined weight is. I cannot locate Spencer's head in the picture.

The last picture: "There Are Six Chairs Around This Table, But Let's Share One Because Mom Bought Fast Food and We Need To Make A Memory of This."

On a possibly related note, I have a comic from last week hanging on our frig. I think it is funny for different reasons than the boys. It is from "Baby Blues" which is usually the comic strip that rings true to me. The first two frames is of the Mom is sitting in yoga poses with speech bubbles that say, "I am calm," "I am serene." The last frame is a picture of the Mom sitting yoga style in a bunch of laundry with the daughter telling her that Hammie barfed on the computer and the Mom's speech bubble says "I'm hopping the next plane to Bora Bora." The boys think the barfing on the computer part is funny. I think hopping a plane to Bora Bora is funny. They don't get it.

I Need a Voice Job

There are some mothers my age. . . well, women of all ages really, who are tempted by, or have given into the temptation, of plastic surgery in the chest region (I am not afraid to say it, I just don't want sickos on my blog). I am not one of those women. On popular make-over shows, people are asked, if they could change one thing about their body, what would it be? The thighs, the nose, the hair, the chest, the lips, the forehead, the belly and on and on. I am not one of those women either.

I want a voice job.

Here's why: for the past week, I have asked my children to do various things, as Moms tend to do. But it's been very noticeable that I've had to ask them to do it at least three times before they do it, or before I lose my mind (maybe I need a mind job). Here's an example from the other day: We were driving home from school. There are many coats and backpacks on the floorboard in front of their seats. As we pull into the garage I say, "Please take your coats and back packs in the house." I turn off the van and open the door to unbuckle James. With the door open, I see the boys standing on top of their coats and back packs. I say, "Please take your coats and back packs in the house. They jump out of the van and head for the door, at which point I had to alter my voice: "TAKE YOUR COATS AND BACKPACKS IN THE HOUSE!"

So, I figure if I change my voice they will listen the first time. Or at least that's the hope. Mark thinks I should change my voice to sound like Darth Vader: "Spencer, I am your mother, take your coat in the house! (Heavy breathing)." My Mom thinks I should change to a princess voice: "Someday my D.J. will come and pick up his coat!" I know there is a voice changer storm trooper helmet. I could just wear that. With a good blaster at my side (a la Han Solo) and a storm trooper helmet they might listen. Plus, I could rule the galaxy. I should just have a voice changer implanted so I can change every day, that might get their attention. One day I could be Alvin chipmunk, they next James Earl Jones. The Crocodile Hunter one day the next day Kermit the Frog. They's probably listen if I changed my voice to Dan the Bakugan brawler, but I do have some limits.

I don't need liposuction to feel good about myself, I need my sanity.

Cake Review 2009

Here they are. . . . . (drum roll) the cakes from 2009. With every cake I do, two hours into it, I wonder why I do this. Then I go to bed and remember why the next morning when I hear excitement and see animated faces. Still, I'm a certifiable nut. Certified by me.

Here is James's cake for the year. He wanted a Bakugan cake like Spencer had, but I just couldn't bring myself to do another sphere like Spencer's, so I did one with an open Bakugan on a gate card. Bakugan are little balls with a magnet in them that when triggered open up into fighting creatures. James turned five if you couldn't tell. It is all cake except for the long head and crab-like pincers - they are rice krispie treats.

At around 11:30 pm, I had just finished the sheet cake decoration (grossly underestimating the time it would take, as usual) and I told Mark I was just going to put a store bought Bakugan on top. He told me he would help crank it out, so here he is, my lovely assistant in the cow pattern apron in the cake-tornado hit kitchen. I could not have done it without him. XOXOXO

Spencer requested a Bakugan cake. I will just tell you now that I watch too much "Ace of Cakes" on the Food Channel and truly had delusions of grandeur, thinking that I could make a spherical cake. It turned out well enough to please a nine-year-old, which is all I care about (after I get over my perfectionist tendency). The bottom of the sphere is styrofoam, the top is pound cake. It is a Bakugan in ball form, with three toy Bakugan opened.

Mark and I went to a Utah football game a week or so before his birthday. Until then I did not have the faintest idea of what cake I could make for him. While we were sitting in our seats, he elbowed me and pointed to a man across the aisle and said, "I want a gold earring like that." Ding! Mark got a glittery gold earring cake. He better watch what he says next year!

I'm wondering if this is the last Star Wars cake I will be making. This year: Star Wars -1, Bakugan -2. D.J. requested a Geonosan Star Wars Cake (see Episode II). I did the landscape complete with a Geonosan hive (thank you Pepperidge Farms Pirrouttes) topped with Lego action figures. He had a Lego party, so it fit.

This cake is my favorite for the year. My Grandma Wheeler turned 80 this year. She had a Springville Devil's party (her high school Alma mater) complete with Springville Devil's symbol cake with fire around the sides and a marching band.

Whew! I can take a break until next August! I think I'll be ready by then. If you are wondering, I request pie for my birthday cake :).