Four years ago, we gave in to Spencer's continual pleading that he be allowed to try Tae Kwon Do. He wasn't enjoying basketball, he was tired of soccer and we won't permit football, so Tae Kwon Do was the best option. We found that it fulfilled many of Spencer's needs: the need to be in character, the need to dress as a character and the need to play act through learning defensive moves. Later, we found out it filled some of our needs and desires for Spencer: how to respect others, how to respect himself, how to work hard at something, how to set goals, how not give up, how to live by tenets in work and life and much more. These lessons did not come easy, especially because during the four years, he took breaks for vacations, wrestling and other activities, and it was hard to start Tae Kwon Do again after breaks. It was also not easy because we required Spencer to pay for 20% of monthly and testing fees. But he did it! By mowing lawns, birthday money, selling jam, Christmas gifts and other items, he was able to pay his portion. That alone should make him very proud. We are very proud of him.
There was one particular instance where he had an "a-ha" experience. Spencer and I had been arguing about whether or not he should finish Tae Kwon Do. Because he took breaks for other activities, the kids he started with advanced much faster than he did, which means, by the end he was taking classes with younger/shorter people, which was frustrating. He also didn't want to keep paying for classes and take time from school and play twice a week. I have always felt that he should at least get his black belt, for no particular reason, I just felt strongly about that. Every other month TKD students test for the next belt. After months of disagreeing about TKD, Spencer acquiesced to testing for the next belt. During the testing session Master Kim sometimes asks the students one of the eleven codes of conduct:
- Loyalty to your country
- Respect your parents
- Faithfulness to your spouse
- Loyalty to your friends
- Respect your brothers and sisters
- Respect your elders
- Respect your teachers
- Never take life unjustly
- Indomitable spirit
- Loyalty to your school
- Finish what you begin
"Finish what you started, Sir, perseverance, Sir!"
And that was the light bulb moment. He knew he needed to finish. After a Christmas gift of six months of paid Tae Kwon Do, Spencer finished what he started four years ago.
On October 9, 2015, Spencer received his Black Belt.
Black belt testing began with a show of strength. He had to see how many push-ups he could do in a minute,
how many sit-ups he could do in a minute,
how many leg lifts he could do in a minute,
how many kicks he could do in a minute, and more.
For each testing, Spencer had to recall and perform "forms" that will help him with defense. For black belt testing he had to recall forms from all belts and perform the ones chosen by the testers.
We then had to watch (me through squinty eyes and cringing) my son hitting other people and other people hitting my son. In the photo below I was cringing for Spencer's opponent.
Spencer is on the left, dishing it out.
Last, but not least, he was required to break boards, as he has with all of his testing.
Finally he was approved and he received his certificate for Black Belt.
I cried. For him and for me. I am so happy that he completed this journey and learned all that he did. I cried for me because as hard as it was for Spencer, it wasn't easy for me either. It was a big pay off for both of us.
I think Master Kim understood this because he has the students bow to their parents. What was also touching was when Master Kim told me that Spencer is a good, hard-working person who didn't complain about the tasks given him and helped those around him.
I am glad for Master Kim's influence, as well and the young Master Kim and Master Williams and others who helped Spencer learn and advance. It really does take a village to raise a child and I'm glad we've got good people in our village who make things like this their life's work.
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