I Couldn't Have Known. . .

Before marriage, a women tends to wonder if the man she is dating will be a good husband and father. The only thing she has to base this on is her experience with her father and other male influences. There are all sorts of ambiguous qualifications for a future husband and father of her children: must have sense of humor, must be kind, must communicate well, must like children, must like Star Wars, etc., etc. I don't know how many lists like this I made with girlfriends in high school and college ranging from extremely specific to roll-your-eyes silly. I suppose it's OK to be ambiguous because there's at least a little direction, plus there really is no other option because how can a woman really know what bringing a new baby into the world will do to her and her husband until it happens. For instance:

I couldn't have known. . . how wonderfully involved Mark would be in taking care of basic baby needs: changing diapers, feeding, rocking to sleep, cleaning up throw up, sucking snot out with the blue bobble of death, bathing.

I couldn't have known . . . the powerful feelings that come when I watch Mark teaching our boys correct principles and morals.

I couldn't have known. . . that Mark would not talk down to the boys, but maintain the same vocabulary with them that he does with his clients (though maybe a little less about C-corps and S-corps).

I couldn't have known . . . the utter joy of a whole family laughing together - even over bodily functions!

I couldn't have known . . . how passionately Mark feels about providing the necessities for his family, but not overindulging.

I couldn't have known. . . how much of his happiness comes from opening the door after coming home from work to boys ready to be with him.

I couldn't have known. . . the look on Mark's face when one of our sons touches his heart in some way or another.

There are so many other wonderful things I've discovered about Mark while parenting with him!

I realize of course that there is a flip side to this and that there are a lot of things that we couldn't have known that lead to spouse and parental hardship and we are not immune to these. But the hardships are tempered with the wonderful surprises which makes us fulfilled. I am not saying that I have the best husband in all the world, who is the best father in all the world (there is only One of those). But, he is the best for me and the best for our children and I don't compare him to others, because you have the best for you (hopefully).

Thanks for being the best Dad for our three boys, Mark!